Red
by Sabishiioni
Summary: All you need to know is in the title.
1. I

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT.

Warnings: Angst, torture and goodbye

Mindless Babble:

dojo- practice area for martial arts

Otóosan- Father

kata- form or shape- in this instance a type of meditation or discipline that moves from one stance to another in a flowing motion.

ki- life-force

kanji- Japanese writing

* * *

_Break the bones and the body will heal. Break the spirit and the body will die._

The sounds of combat reached the ears of the one who was trying to meditate and it brought a smile to him. His adopted sons were practicing again. The steady rhythm of wood on wood and metal on metal soothed him. Splinter silently made his way to the door that separated his room from the makeshift dojo.

What he saw when he opened that door could only be described as beautiful. It was like watching an intricate dance performed by four forms of green liquid. One would slash, the other would parry. One would jab, the other would dodge. A sai tried to stab only to be blocked by a pair of katanas. A bo, aimed to crack a skull, was yanked away by a nunchucku that had wrapped around it.

Splinter saw what was about to happen and called out a warning, knowing it would be too late.

"Raphael!"

The turtle in question did not react. In fact he stood like a statue carved from malachite. An instant before the bo slammed into the back of his head, a look of horror crossed his features. His body went slack as his mind slipped into darkness.

But not before the vision had finished with him.

* * *

_The room was small and dimly lit. It reeked of mildew and musk. A new scent was present, though it was less pronounced. It was something organic yet metallic smelling._

_There were two eyelets protruding from the stone walls that were like those of the lair's. From these stretched two ropes made form coarse hemp. Strung between these ropes was a figure. It was almost impossible to tell what color the creature's skin had been so covered in blood, burns, and bruises. The poor thing looked like it had been tormented for weeks, _

_The creature lifted its head and Raphael was horrified to find himself looking into his own eyes. His mask had been torn away but it had been replaced by a liquid of the same color. The rough sounding voice cut through the dankness of the cell._

_"Kill me."_

* * *

The turtle struggled back into the waking world with a groan. He opened his eyes briefly before slamming them shut again. Seeing one Mikey was bad enough; seeing three was nauseating. He touched the back of his head, discovering the ice pack that was covering the rather large lump that was forming there. He groaned again.

"What happened?"

"What do you remember?"

Raphael half opened his eyes to confirm what his hearing had already told him. "I was sparring with ya, Leo, and then…" His brow furrowed as he tried to remember. "Things just get real fuzzy after that."

Leonardo smiled. "Mikey got a little carried away and accidentally smacked you with Donnie's bo."

"I'm sooo sorry, Raph!" The orange masked turtle had tears in his eyes. "I didn't mean to- Master Splinter even tried to warn you."

Raph opened both eyes in surprise. "He did?"

Michelangelo's head bobbed. "But I guess you didn't hear. I'm really, really sorry though."

The injured turtle wrapped a hand around the back of his brother's head and pulled him down so that they were face to face. "I forgive ya," he whispered. "But don't let it happen again, 'kay?"

Mikey nodded emphatically. Raph chuckled before closing his eyes in pain. He felt someone gently prop him up from behind. A cup touched his lips.

"Drink this," Leo's soft voice commanded. "Master Splinter said this would help dull the pain and keep you from being sick."

Raph gratefully drained the entire contents of the cup and was soon asleep.

The vision seized him again.

* * *

Raphael awoke in a sweat, a scream in his throat. The dream that had haunted his hours of darkness for the past six nights had steadily gotten more vivid. Tonight, the smell of blood had been so overpowering, the young turtle had nearly thrown up in his sleep.

Raph sighed. There was no way he was going back to sleep after that. He silently slipped from his room, intent on going topside. He was so intent that he didn't notice his sensei sitting quietly in a corner.

"Does something trouble you, my son?"

The words, spoken in a hushed whisper, sounded like a thunderclap to Raphael. He froze and looked over his shoulder at the old rat that had raised him and his brothers.

"No, Master Splinter. I just wanted ta get some air," the turtle replied, hoping that he really didn't sound as nervous as he felt. He hadn't told anyone about his dreams simply because he didn't want them to worry. That or think he was going insane.

"You do know that you are always welcome to speak with me if ever you are so inclined."

Raphael smiled. "Thank you, _Ot__óosan_. I won't forget. I'll be back in a couple of hours."

With that the young ninja disappeared. Splinter grinned. Perhaps his lessons in Japanese weren't useless.

* * *

An hour passed. Then two. Leonardo woke and entered the dojo. He began his morning katas. After about half an hour, Donatello joined him and a few minutes later, Michelangelo. It wasn't until they finished an hour later, that they noticed Raphael hadn't joined them.

"Mikey, you and Donnie start getting breakfast ready. Raph probably just overslept."

"He's been doing that a lot lately," Donnie observed.

"Yeah, since Mikey hit him with your bo," Leo replied. The remark had its desired effect as two green faces turned slightly pink.

They parted ways with Michelangelo and Donatello heading towards the kitchen and Leonard to his brother's room. He wouldn't admit it to anyone but himself, but he was worried. Raphael hadn't been himself lately. Leo had often fallen asleep to the restless pacing coming from his brother's room only to wake later to the steady sound of a punching bag getting a workout. The worst part was how quiet the usually obnoxious turtle had been. The last time they had fought some street thugs, Raph had quietly, almost methodically, eliminated his opponents.

"Hey, Raph! You missed…" Leo stopped speaking when he realized there was no one in the room.

"He left some hours ago, wishing to get some fresh air. He has yet to return."

Leonardo whirled around. As usual, Splinter had approached him without his knowledge. Not for the first time, Leo wished he knew how his sensei had done that.

"Then he's probably at Casey's or April's."

Splinter looked crestfallen. Had his son, whom he loved so very much, felt he could not talk with his adopted father?

Leonardo saw where his mentor's thoughts were going and quickly said, "Don't feel bad, Master Splinter. Both April and Casey have cable. Raph probably just sacked out in front of the TV."

The rat chuckled. "Of course."

"I'll call him up and let him know that he needs to come home.

Splinter nodded, still smiling. As his son walked away, a feeling of dread suddenly overtook him. He barely managed to withhold a shocked gasp. A few moments later he was able to dismiss it as fatherly concern. The feeling didn't leave, though.

* * *

"So you haven't seen him either?"

Leo had been mildly annoyed when Raph hadn't answered his shell phone. Then he had called April and irritation melted into worry. Now, with Casey telling him the same thing, worry was steadily deteriorating into fear.

"Nope, haven't seen him since the accident last week."

"Well, if you see him…"

"I'll send him home with a boot to the shell," finished Casey. Leo could hear him grinning.

"Thanks." Leo hung up the phone and took a deep breath. He went into the kitchen and found his brothers and adopted father at the table with breakfast ready. He told them about the phone calls.

"We need to find him," Donnie said, concern creeping into his voice.

"Then what the shell are we waiting for?" Mikey asked as he stood up. Then his brain caught up to him.

All three turtles turned to look at their master. A look of sorrow had settled on the grey rat's face. Dark eyes were filled with despair. He bowed his head.

"I have had a heavy heart since Raphael departed this morning. I feared that something had happened to him, but I ignored it, thinking I was simply being overprotective. Go and bring him home."

And so, the search began.


	2. II

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT.

Warnings: Angst, torture and goodbye

Mindless Babble:

dojo- practice area for martial arts

Otóosan- Father

kata- form or shape- in this instance a type of meditation or discipline that moves from one stance to another in a flowing motion.

ki- life-force

kanji- Japanese writing

* * *

Leonardo stood on the roof of a tall building. One arm pressed against the man's black clad chest. The other held the point of a razor sharp katana lightly on the hollow of the man's throat. The turtle's body trembled with barely restrained emotions. His breath came in ragged gasps.

"Easy, Leo. He's no good to us dead." Donatello placed a three fingered hand on his brother's shoulder.

It had been over two weeks since Raphael had disappeared. The three remaining turtles had long ago lost their patience. The hardly ate and slept only when they were on the brink of exhaustion. Even Splinter had been surprised by the tenacity his sons had shown.

"Where is he?" Leo spat the words like they were acid. "Where is my brother?"

The ninja laughed. "Wouldn't you like to know!"

Leonardo barely restrained himself. He wanted nothing more then to plunge his blade into the neck of this waste of human flesh. Instead, he pressed the man's chest a bit harder and growled. He heard a cracking sound and realized what had just happened. The smell of almonds filled the air as he threw away the lifeless corpse.

"Cyanide filled fake tooth," Leo said, disgusted.

They stood there for a few moments trying to decide what to do. The only lead they had was now lying at their feet, dead. Then as one they looked up at each other.

"Does anyone else feel the sudden need to go home?" Michelangelo asked.

"I think Master Splinter wants to speak with us," Leo said as he walked to the edge of the building.

"Why can't he use the shell phone I built for him?" Donatello asked, following his brother.

Leo jumped down to the fire escape, his words echoing up to the other two turtles. "Because it's Master Splinter."

* * *

The three turtles found their sensei meditating in his room. He sat on a large pillow, his eyes closed and his breathing shallow. He seemed to be the very picture of peace but for one thing. The fur beneath his eyes was wet.

The brothers knelt before their master and waited for him to speak.

"I have found Raphael." Splinter felt his heart break as hope enveloped his sons. "I fear he is not long for this world. His ki is fading."

Leo's his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. "That's not all, is it?"

Splinter bowed his head. "He is in terrible pain. I believe he has given up."

* * *

Three hearts beat wildly as they raced down the hall. They had broken into the old office building through the air vents in the roof. Now they searched for the stairs that would take them to the basement. It was there they would find their brother.

They finally found the stairs and raced down them. Leo stopped them at the door that opened into the basement. He let everyone catch their breath before speaking.

"I don't know why it's been so easy to get down here, but we have to stay on guard. Donnie, I want you to stay here and make sure the stairs to the first floor stays clear." Leo looked his brother in the eye. "No heroics. If you need help, call for it!'

"I know, Leo." His voice broke as he replied. "Get Raph so we can all go home."

A ghost of a smile appeared on Leo as he turned to open the door. When he did, he was surprised to find a long corridor lined with doors. Leo growled in frustration.

"Mikey, you take the doors on the right and I'll take the ones on the left. Check every room, even if the door is locked. Just break it down." He looked at his brother. "Raph is down here, somewhere."

Mikey nodded. Gone was the carefree, fun-loving turtle. He may not be the fastest, brightest or fiercest but someone had hurt his brother and in so doing had hurt him as well. Mikey was angry and now there was no holding back.

The two turtles literally tore the place apart. Every single room had been locked. By the time Leo had reach the last door on his side, his nerves were so frayed he didn't even check to see if the door was locked. He merely ripped it off its hinges. He stepped into the room followed closely by his brother. Both looked around in confusion. The room was empty.

"Leo, we checked every room!"

"I know, I know." Leo ran the light from his flashlight over the walls of the small room, frustrated. He could _feel_ that Raph was nearby.

"Wait! Leo, shine your light there!" Michelangelo pointed at the floor. The faint lines of a trap door appeared as the light played over the area in the corner.

Leo almost dropped his flashlight in excitement as both turtles lunged for the door. Leo stopped Mikey just as he was about to pull the door open.

"Mikey, wait." Leo remembered what Master Splinter had said about Raphael being in pain. If it was bad enough that his stubborn brother had given up, then he didn't want his younger brother to bare witness. "Stay here. I'll get Raph."

The other turtle nodded. As much as he didn't like it, Mikey knew Leo was right. He wouldn't be able to keep it together if Raph was hurt.

Leo flipped the door open. The stench forced both turtles back into the hallway, gagging. It was a mixture of mildew, blood, vomit and worse. With watering eyes, Leo plunged back into the room and down the stairs.

The only light came from a single, naked bulb that hung overhead. It barely illuminated the room, much less the deformed figure below it. Coarse ropes stretched the figures arms past what could have been considered normal. Blood oozed from a staggering amount of wounds. It flowed heavily from the collar that encircled the creature's neck. Bruises tainted the green skin an ugly purple. One eye was swollen completely shut.

Leo took a step towards his brother. A flash of color caught his eye and he looked down. At first he thought it was Raphael's mask, and then he realized what it actually was. A feeling of sick horror overcame Leo and he felt like he was going to be sick. A pair of kanji had been written on the filthy floor. The "ink" was blood, the blood of his brother and it was still fresh. So sickened by the realization, it took Leo a few seconds to recall what they meant. When he did decipher them, he had to fight the urge to throw up.

"Oh, Raph," he whispered as he moved to cut the ropes. "What happened to you?"

* * *

_the__ past…_

_The moon was just beginning to set as Raph did a kata to calm himself. He had come to the pond that had always held peace and solitude for him since he was a child. Tonight though, that peace was denied to him. The dream-vision had severely disrupted his psyche. _

_He quickly grew frustrated and gave up on the kata. Instead, he sat down cross-legged and tried to meditate. He slowed his breathing and tried to clear his mind. Unfortunately, meditation had never been the turtle's strong point. He was about to give up on that too, when the vision seized him again and tangled him in a web of terror. This time, though, the nightmare didn't get the chance to finish._

_The men in form-fitting black took care of that._

* * *

_The screams echoed into the hall. Tears of shame stung Raphael's eyes. He had sworn to himself that he would not cry out. He hadn't when the first of many blows rained down on him; or when they had brought out the blades. He had even kept his tongue when they tore both arms from their sockets. But then they had delivered the worst injury the turtle could even conceive. They had managed to wound his very soul._

_His beloved weapons lay at his feet, shattered._

* * *

_the__ present…_

"Mikey, take these," Leo yelled, tossing up a bundle to the startled turtle. He emerged a few moments later carrying the limp form of Raphael.

"Wha… Raph?" Michelangelo asked as he tucked the bundle into his belt. He had to jog to keep up with his brother as they made their way back down the hall. "Is he…?"

Leonardo didn't… couldn't… look at his brother.


	3. III

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT.

Warnings: Angst, torture and goodbye

Mindless Babble:

dojo- practice area for martial arts

Otóosan- Father

kata- form or shape- in this instance a type of meditation or discipline that moves from one stance to another in a flowing motion.

ki- life-force

kanji- Japanese writing

* * *

They picked up Donatello on their way up to the first floor. The purple masked turtle took one look at Leo's face and wisely decide to keep quiet. Thus far, they had met with little resistance and had hoped that it would last. Alas, it was not to be.

A single man stood blocking the only exit. The dull glow of the rising sun painted the shiny armor a pale orange. The material under the armor was as black as the man's soul; that was assuming he even had one. He stood with his arms akimbo, his feet planted so he was perfectly balanced.

"Get out of the way, Shredder. We don't have time for this," Leo growled.

"Oh, but I think you do," the tall human replied. "Your brother is not long for this world. If it is any consolation, he told me nothing."

"That's our Raphie!" Michelangelo whispered.

"Yes, a warrior to the end, even if he did cry out for his brothers after I…" Oroku Saki never got the chance to finish. Donnie and Mikey didn't let him.

For as long as they had been together, the three turtles could never understand the rage that fueled their hotheaded brother. At the dawn of this day, that innocence was lost. A ruby colored haze feel over each pair of eyes as pure, unbridled rage flowed into their veins. Donatello and Michelangelo attacked as one. The human was surprised to find that each blow that he barely blocked could have been a severely crippling, if not lethal, strike. It was when Leonardo laid his injured brother in a corner and joined the fight, that Saki decided that retreat was the better part of valor. He dropped a smoke bomb and disappeared.

Leo didn't even wait for the smoke to clear. He gently lifted Raphael and darted out the door, his brothers following in his wake.

"Mikey, can you drive? I need Donnie to check for tracers."

The turtle in question nodded. He knew he had to be strong, but he was the one who wore his emotions on his proverbial sleeves. He struggled to regain control, even as the Shredder's words rang in his mind.

Had Raph called for them only to have his pleas go unanswered?

* * *

"Master Splinter!"

The old rat raised his head. He heard the fear in his son's voice as well as the traces of guilt and sorrow. He knew in his heart that his worst fears were coming true.

"In here, Leonardo."

Three turtles burst into the small meditation room with Leo carrying the fourth member of the family. Splinter scrambled off the large pillow and motioned to it. Leo gently laid his brother down, handling him as if he were made of glass.

Splinter couldn't hold back the gasp of shock as he saw the injuries that had been inflicted on his son. Raphael was blanketed in his own blood and bruises. Leo had cut the collar off but the wounds from the spikes that had lined it were deep. Even now, the blood was seeping through the once white bandages that Donnie had used to stem the flow. Raph's chest barely rose and crimson liquid seeped from his mouth.

"Raph…" A choked sob forced Splinter to tear his eyes from the horror in front of him and focus on his youngest son. This was the first time Michelangelo and Donatello had seen the full extent of the damage that had been done to their brother and Mikey wasn't taking it well.

"Leonardo, please take Michelangelo out of here. Stay with him." Splinter turned to his remaining son. "Donatello, I need a bowl of water, towels and every medical supply we have."

A few minutes later, Leo found himself on the couch with his arms wrapped protectively around his younger brother. Mikey's body shook with barely restrained sobs. Leo tried to sooth him but, even to his own ears, he didn't sound convincing.

When Mikey finally fell asleep, Leo took a few moments to think back to a time when he had found himself in this same position. They were about six or seven…

* * *

_the__ past…_

_ "Leo! Leeeooo! There's a monster in my room!"_

_ Little Mikey raced into his brother's room, tears streaming down his face. He jumped on Leo's bed and into waiting arms. Mikey sniffled as Leo tried to calm him._

_ "It's okay Mikey. Nothing going to hurt you," he said softly, hoping that the others hadn't woken up. Unfortunately, they had._

_ "Hey, Mikey. I'm sure what you saw was just in your head," Donnie said as he sat on the edge of Leo's bed._

_ "No! I saw it!" Mikey started to tense up again. "It was big and had big teeth and a big mouth with big eyes and big…"_

_ "It was big. We get it," Raph said from the door. "We all got dragged outta bed for this?"_

_ "Raphael!" The turtle flinched at Splinter sharp reprimand._

_ "Sorry."_

_ "Now then, Michelangelo, were you reading those comics I expressly forbade you to read?"_

_ The trembling turtle shyly nodded. "But I know I saw something!"_

_"Fine, I'll take care of it!" Raphael said as he stormed out of the room. A few seconds later, the turtles and their sensei heard Raph's battle cry followed by a lot of thumping and a crashing sound. There were a few more minutes of banging and then silence. Finally they heard Raph yelling from their front door._

_"Yeah, ya better run, 'cause if I ever see ya bothering my lil' bro again, you're gonna hafta answer ta me!"_

_Raph entered Leo's room with a smirk on his face. "Well, that's taken care of. Sorry, Mikey, I accidentally broke your nightlight but you can have mine."_

_Mikey grinned as his brother tossed him a small light that was shaped like a superhero. "Wow! Thanks Raph!" He gave Raph a hug before he disappeared back into his room._

_"Now that the situation has been resolved, I think I'm going back to sleep," Donnie said. "Nice work, Bro."_

_"Yes, that was clever, my son," Splinter said with a smile. Then he followed Donnie out of the room._

_Raph grinned and started back to his room when Leo's voice stopped him. "There wasn't really a monster, was there."_

_"Nope."_

_"So then, all that racket was you?"_

_"Yep."_

_"You also knew that he hated that nightlight Donnie had given him?"_

_"Yep."_

_"You're something else, Raph!"_

_"And don't you forget it!"_

_the__ present_…

"I won't Bro," Leo whispered as a tear slipped past the blue mask.

* * *

Meanwhile Splinter and Donatello were having their own troubles. While Donnie tenderly washed the blood from his brother's body, the rat tried to staunch the flow of fresh blood from where the ropes had cut into the green flesh of his son's wrist. They had already reset both of Raphael's shoulders and had even managed to slow the blood from the wounds on his neck. Splinter was applying the ointment he had used on those wounds on the turtle's wrist when a sob made him look up.

"I'm sorry, Master Splinter." Donatello chocked out. "I was trying to keep track of the number of wounds but there… there's just too many!"

The graying rat placed a gnarled hand on his son's cheek and whipped away a tear that was slowly making its way down the young turtle's face. With all their skills and bravado, it was easy to forget that all of them were still children. Young children. To young to be experiencing suffering like this.

"Perhaps you should go be with your other brothers," Splinter said gently.

Donnie shook his head. "No, I need to stay here where I can at least …"

The turtle had laid a hand on his Raphael's leg, one of two spots that didn't seem to be injured. Eyes opened wide behind the purple mask. There were hundreds of tiny bumps on both of Raph's thighs.

"Sensei?"

Splinter's hand went to the spot that Donnie indicated. Indeed, there was something there that should not have been. The rat felt ill, knowing what lay under the skin.

"Please hand me the scalpel and a clamp."

Donnie reached into the well stocked med kit and grabbed the small knife and a scissor like tool that gripped instead of cut. He handed them to Splinter.

"Now, my son, I will need you to be ready to stitch the wound closed as soon as I am done." Elderly eyes met young ones. "What I am about to do will be very unpleasant, but I need you stay strong."

Donnie nodded. "For Raph."

Splinter smiled briefly before turning back to his patient. He carefully set the blade across one of the lumps and cut it open. He then took the clamp and slid it into the wound. A second later he withdrew the instrument with something clamped in its jaws. The object was so slick with blood; it took Donatello a moment to realize what it was.

"A needle!" he whispered, a horrified sickness settling in the pit of his stomach.

"Hundreds of them, driven into his legs so he could no longer stand," Splinter said as he held the wound closed so Donnie could stitch it closed. He dropped the needle into a bowl of water.

"And with both of his shoulders dislocated…" Donnie couldn't finish the thought. "How could anyone survive this?"

Splinter pulled his distraught son to him and held the mourning turtle. "Remember, this is Raphael. If anyone were stubborn enough to survive this, it would be him."

And so a father wept for his sons and a brother wept for his family.


	4. IV

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT.

Warnings: Angst, torture and goodbye

Mindless Babble:

dojo- practice area for martial arts

Otóosan- Father

kata- form or shape- in this instance a type of meditation or discipline that moves from one stance to another in a flowing motion.

ki- life-force

kanji- Japanese writing

* * *

Many heart-wrenching hours later, Donatello carried a heavily bandaged Raphael into his brother's room. A few minutes later, he emerged only to disappear into his own. With the help of April and Casey he had managed to get a few pieces medical equipment including a heart monitor and a respirator.

Meanwhile, Splinter made his way over to the couch where his remaining sons had fallen asleep. Michelangelo still clung to his older brother like he would to a lifeline. Leonardo had his arms around his brother as if to protect him from all the hurts of the world. Splinter hated to wake them.

"Leonardo."

The turtle jerked awake, the movement waking his brother. "Sensei? Raph?"

Splinter bowed his head. "Raphael was brutally tortured. It is a wonder that he has survived thus far. He has lost much blood. Too much."

"Raph's gonna die?" Mikey's voice caught on the last word.

"I fear he may not last the night."

"Can we see him?"

Splinter smiled sadly. "In a few moments. Donatello is setting up some equipment in Raphael's room."

"It's okay, Mikey," Donnie said as he walked over to stand next to his teacher. "You can go see him now. Just be careful of the equipment."

Mikey nodded before jumping up and running to see his beloved brother. He paused at Raphael's door, momentarily afraid of what he might see. He swallowed and walked in.

Raph lay on the huge bed, a blanket covering him to the chest. Mikey could see the many white bandages that covered his brother's chest and arms. His chest seemed to move only when the respirator told it to. The only other sound was the slow beeping of the heart monitor.

One thought kept running through Michelangelo's head as he approached the bed. 'This can't be Raph. Raph is so full of movement, it always seemed like he was nothing _but_ motion!'

Mikey sat on the edge of the bed and cautiously took his brother's hand into his own. He was scared at how cold the flesh was. He looked at Raph's face, expecting to see some sort of calm, peaceful expression. Alas, it was not to be. A manifestation of sheer agony adorned his features.

"Hi, Raph," Mikey whispered. "I missed you while you were gone. It's been too quiet. I didn't have anyone to pick on."

The young turtle sniffled as he brought the icy hand to his cheek, willing it to warm and tighten around his own hand. He closed his eyes as tears started to cascade from them.

"You can't go, Raph! Who will protect me from the monsters in my room?"

* * *

Donatello finished his report to Leo and Splinter and entered Raph's room just in time to hear Mikey's plea. He tried to swallow the boulder sized lump that suddenly made breathing hard. He had forgotten about that night. Now he remembered it with crystal clarity including the brief smile that had appeared on Raphael's face when Mikey had hugged him. He even remembered his youngest brother talking about the incident for a week afterwards; and the pride that had gleamed in his older brother's eyes whenever it became a topic of discussion.

He quietly made his way over to the pair and sat down on the foot of the bed just behind Mikey. He looked at Raph and was surprised to find that his brother's expression had changed. It wasn't a huge change but it was enough to see that something had calmed him.

"Mikey keep talking to him. It seems to be helping," Donnie said, quietly.

The turtle in orange jumped at the sound of his brother's voice. He glanced at the turtle behind him before focusing on the one in front. He, too, saw the change and smiled happily.

"What should I say?"

"Anything. Just talk to him."

And that was how Donnie learned of how Mikey and Raph were going to get back at Leo for the extra training he made them do as punishment for the last prank the two of them had set up for their fearless leader. When Raph was better, of course.

When, not if.

* * *

Leo watched Donnie go into Raph's room and suddenly felt tired. He knew he had a lot to do before he could join his brothers. He just didn't know what to do first. He realized he had to tell his brothers about the secret Raphael had shared with him in that prison. The question was 'how'?

"Something troubles you, my son?"

"Sensei!" Leo flinched. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking"

"About Raphael?"

"Sorta." Leo grabbed a piece of Mikey's drawing paper and a pen from the small table in front of the couch. A few seconds later, he had recreated the kanji that he had seen in the cell. He held it up for Splinter to see.

"What does this say?"

The old rat frowned. "You know as well as I do."

Leo sighed. "I was afraid that you were going to say that. I was just hoping that I was wrong."

"You do not believe that your brother will live?"

Leo stared at the two characters, seeing them written in blood rather then in ink. "Raph wrote this but that's not the only reason."

"Oh?"

Leo set the paper aside and picked up the bundle that Mikey had left on the table. "Do you remember what Miyamoto Usagi said about his swords being more then just weapons? That they were his very soul?"

Splinter nodded. "I also remember that you took that to heart."

Leo smiled faintly. "Well, I think Raph did too. I know he started to take better care of his sais."

"I, too, noticed that. But what of it?"

The turtle carefully unwrapped the bundle and Splinter felt his heart freeze over with sorrow. The shattered remains of a pair of sais lay on the cloth in Leo's lap. The rat easily recognized the unique way the hilts had been wrapped.

"Do not lose hope, Leonardo," Splinter said, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Raphael was … is strong. When he is healed, we will re-forge his weapons."

"But can we re-forge his soul?" Leo whispered.

Splinter lowered his head. He was trying not to cry. Despite his brave words, the rat had already lost hope.

"Raphael's family should be with him tonight. All of them."

It was Leo's turn to bow his head. "I know, Master Splinter. It's just that… How do you tell someone that their best friend is dying?"

A look of understanding crossed the rat's features. "I know you are strong, my son, and you will find the words."

Leo half smiled. "Thank you."

He picked up his shell phone and dialed April's number.


	5. V

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT.

Warnings: Angst, torture and goodbye

Mindless Babble:

dojo- practice area for martial arts

Otóosan- Father

kata- form or shape- in this instance a type of meditation or discipline that moves from one stance to another in a flowing motion.

ki- life-force

kanji- Japanese writing

* * *

"ARRRRG!"

"Umm, didja need some help in there, April?" Casey Jones glanced at the smoke detector on the living room wall, waiting for it to go off.

"No! I'm fine! I said I was going to cook you a homemade meal and I'm going to! Even if it kills me!"

Casey swallowed. It wasn't her he was worried about dieing! He winced as he heard another crash in the kitchen. He tugged at the collar of the shirt he was wearing. Having dinner with the girl of his dreams had seemed like a good idea at the time. Then she told him that she was cooking.

"I hope you like your steaks well done!"

Casey was saved from replying as the phone rang. He looked at the ceiling, silently thanked whatever god was listening. Knowing that April had her hand full, he walked over to the phone and picked it up.

"Yo! April's place."

There was a pause on the other end of the line before a weary sounding voice asked, "Casey?"

"Leo?" The man couldn't help but grin. "Man, am I happy to hear from you! Listen, you gotta help me! April's trying ta poison me! I mean…"

"Casey." Leo's voice had a strange tone to it that quieted the man in mid-rant. "We found Raph."

Casey didn't know what to say. He had thought his pal had returned to the lair since nobody ever called again. Now he wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, as Donnie always said, but he was smart enough to know that something bad had happened.

"April and I will be there ASAP."

"Hurry." Leo's voice broke, scaring Casey even more.

The man returned the phone to its cradle and slowly walked into the kitchen. If it had been any other time, Casey would have loved to have seen April like this. The young woman wore a sleek black dress under an apron that said "Kiss the cook". In her hands were the remains of a pair of steaks in a blackened pan. She looked up at Casey, annoyed.

Casey took the pan from her and set it in the sink. "We need to leave. Now."

"Why? What's going on?" April asked as she removed the apron. She heard the fear in her friend's voice and it made her nervous.

"They found Raph and it doesn't sound too good."

* * *

Ten minutes later, the humans found themselves entering their friends' home, though it seemed more like a tomb then a home. The lair had always been a place of movement, whether it was Donnie working on some new gadget, Mikey playing a video game, Leo practicing his katas or Raph lifting weights. This was a place of kinetics. The stillness and the deathly silence were more then a little unnerving.

"Miss O'Neil, Mr. Jones."

The two humans nearly jumped out of their skins when a deep voice broke the stillness of the lair. They turned to find the ageing rat standing behind them. He looked tired.

"Master Splinter, you startled us!" April said, willing her heart to slow down.

"I apologize," the rat replied, a ghost of a smile appearing on his face. "The silence is … strange."

"How's Raph? Leo didn't say much but then again he didn't really have to." Casey dreaded the answer.

Splinter bowed his head, closing his eyes. "It is good that you are here tonight."

"Is it really that bad?" April asked softly.

Splinter held up the piece of paper that Leo had drawn the kanji on. "He had been held by the Foot and was tortured for a very long time. Raphael wrote this in the cell he was kept in with his own blood. It simply says, 'kill me'."

Casey turned away, trying to hide the tears that sprang to his eyes. It had been less then a year since he had met the hotheaded turtle, but in that time, Casey had found a kindred spirit. Raph was the closest thing to a brother the man had.

"His brothers are already with him in his room," Splinter said as he began walking. "None of them were in any condition to greet you."

April fell into step with him while Casey followed behind them. "Let me guess. Leo is blaming himself, Donnie is trying to figure out how to fix things and Mikey is just an emotional wreck."

The ghost smile came back as Splinter looked up at the woman. "You know my son's too well, Miss O'Neil."

As they walked into the room, April felt her heart break. Leo sat to Raphael's left, one hand over his brother's heart. Mikey sat on the other side still holding the cold, limp hand. Donnie lay face down across the foot of the bed, one arm stretched out to brush Raph's free hand. Three sets of pain filled eyes looked up at the three.

"Raph…"

All eyes fell on Casey as he dropped next to the bed. Tears were finally released and ran down ashen cheeks, unchecked. He took no notice of the shocked stares that were directed at him as he touched his friend's hand. He recoiled at how cold the pale green skin was.

"This isn't happening. This can't be happening!" he mumbled. "We were supposed ta go down fighting…"

April knelt behind him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his back. She was surprised to find him trembling. Although she knew that the two hotheads had grown close over this last year, April hadn't realized how close. She saw, now, that Casey wasn't mourning the loss of a friend; he was mourning the passing of a brother-in-arms.

"Hey, guys? Something's happening…." The fear in Mikey's voice caused everyone to look up.

"'Bout time you got here!"


	6. VI

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT.

Warnings: Angst, torture and goodbye

Mindless Babble: The last line is taken from the Mirage TMNT comic book.

dojo- practice area for martial arts

Otóosan- Father

kata- form or shape- in this instance a type of meditation or discipline that moves from one stance to another in a flowing motion.

ki- life-force

kanji- Japanese writing

* * *

_beep-beep__… beep-beep_

It seemed as if all the light in the room was being collected into a sphere that hung over the injured turtle. The radiance began to swirl and reshape into the form of a humanoid turtle sitting cross-legged. His hands were folded in his lap as he looked at everyone in the small room.

"Raph?"

"Hiya, guys." A sad smile appeared on Raphael's face. "I don't have long, so I gotta make this quick.

"First off, let me make this perfectly clear. I am dying," Raph looked pointedly at Donnie. "There's nothing ya can do about it, so stop stressing, Don. Even if ya could keep me alive… well it sure wouldn't be pretty. Shredder took away my ability to walk."

Splinter bowed his head. He had suspected but had hoped otherwise. Raph noticed his sensei's sorrow.

"Master Splinter… Dad." Raph's smile seemed to finally reach his eyes. "Thank you."

The image of light laughed at the rat's confusion. "I know I was always a pain in the butt to teach, but you were always patient with me and for that I thank you. I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you how much I appreciated you as a teacher, father and especially a friend."

_beep-beep__…beep-beep_

A touch of laughter touched his voice as he continued. "And while I'm handing out apologies, I owe you a huge one, Leo. I know my temper flared a lot when you and I got together, but I think that's 'cause we're too much alike. I hope you can forget about at least some of those fights and remember all the good times we had."

Raph turned his head to look at the pair of humans. "April, Casey? Take care of each other while I'm gone, 'kay? I'm not gonna be there ta watch your backs so the two of you'll have ta do it for me."

_beep__… beep_

Raph turned to face what he had considered his youngest brother, all humor draining from his features. "Mikey. Look, I know we picked on each other a lot but I want you ta know that I never hated you. You were always the one I could talk to if I really needed to and … well, I love ya bro!"

Mikey couldn't take it anymore. "You can't leave, Raph! I don't care how messed up you are! I need you!"

Mikey wasn't the only one to weep at his outburst. Shimmering radiance flowed from orbs of light. Raph tried to smile.

"Sorry, Mikey. Where I go, you can't." Raph saw his brother about to protest. "No, Mikey. Don't even think that. I don't want you to follow me. You don't belong where I'm going. None of you do!"

_beep__…_

Raph looked over his shoulder and then back to his family. The light seemed to be dispersing back into the room. "I'm sorry, but I hafta go now. I love you guys! Remember, we strike hard and fade away into the night..."

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeee__…_


End file.
